Reflection

I thought I'd spend some time reflecting on everything that's happened this school year. You know those TV shows about teenagers in high school in all the cliques and drama? Ridiculous. But sometimes I find myself caught in similar drama and think, "You have got to be kidding me. Reality doesn't work like this." And it really didn't until this year. But I think it says something about how close our friendships are, that despite what happens, we're cool.


Here's my top 5 most memorable things about this year.

5. Pink Elephant.

4. Jay's IB-300. This was kind of really brilliant.

3. Pangaea. One of the most fun and successful collaborative productions Rickards has ever seen.

2. Finer Things Club. It's incredibly satisfying to have a serious conversation with the same people who love "Your mom" jokes.

1. Group 4. Great excuse to hang out every weekend, karaoke and spend time with "the family". The actual science part of it was quite a bit of work. I slept a lot and the final video turned out great.

Honorable mentions include going into my IB theater oral prepared for the wrong play (so far, biggest fuck-up of my life), whore cake, spring break beach trip, Dr. Williams' "3 snaps in a circle", Greer's trading clothing week, spending time after school in the parking lot talking with friends, playing spades in class, those Planet Earth videos, spanish with Okey and Halina, skipping school for starbucks, parking lot hopscotch, Traveling Foreign Teenagers, pulling all-nighters to finish essays, inside jokes, Skeert (which is one of those fads you think would blow over by the next week, but skeert), "Sex in a ___", Swissabella, "That's what she said",bunny map, loud sex talks in Sindhu's class partyvan...


What's your top 5?

Beach Trip

Ahhh... Spring Break. No school, terrible beach weather, confusing tent, Greer and Bella's tiny man-made bridge, hot dogs, Beachface, BIKES, naturefuck, screamo, beautiful sunset and too much byah! Fun.

Isn't that an amazing view?



And apparently I have a Southern United States Accent.

Future Me

Now I remember why I insist on never changing my email.

FutureMe is a webservice that allows you to send messages to yourself in the future! Actually, you type it up, give the email address and specify a time you want it sent. I think it has a minimum of 3 months.

I had written this one exactly a year ago to be read on my 16th birthday. Due to a mistake in the time, I was sent the same one again this morning. It's pretty long, I won't bore you with details but...

Dear 16-year old Me,
This is 15 year and 5 month old me. How's life? How's music? How's school? Maybe if I could talk to you and ask what I should do with my life...If only this thing worked backwards. To be able to tell your younger self that things are going to be alright and there's nothing to worry about.

Reading through it, I can't fully connect with the person who poured out her heart in this message. It's almost not me. Even though I remember how I felt writing this, but having my perspectives at that point typed out... wow.

It goes on to talk about appreciating family, what happened the day before at school (I was definitely angry about something), wondering what happened with my friends leaving to go to college, college, and a list of current interests. I almost fell out of my chair when I read this.

But who knows. You might be a completely different person by then. Actually I doubt it. You're only 16. And I'm not gonna let you be reckless.

I laughed and then I felt a pang of guilt, wondering if the old me would disapprove of the person I am today. Put us in a room, I wonder if we would be friends...

Obviously, I've changed a lot. I'm smarter, more reckless, terrible at keeping up with grades and have a much better appreciation and perspective of life.

ok, im not gonna give you any cliche "seize the day crap"
I wish you a good life
but do stay focused.

PEACE
-chan

Waiting For Change

You know how when you were in elementary school, you did everything your parents told you to, all your schoolwork without thinking about it? Without asking why? Well, those answers seem obvious now, the ultimate goal at this point is getting into a good college and all that crap. But back then, I remember the first time I questioned the whole process of waking up and following orders. It was dull, preprogrammed meaninglessness. What's the point of all this? What's there to gain? How am I supposed to exercise my free will if I didn't even know what I wanted in the first place? That's when I realized how bored I was.

As a side anecdote, there's something very unique about the way we react at Rickards. I know other schools have the impression that it's sketchy or shady but... Last week, I was in Spanish class when a loud BOOM sounded. Anyone else would have assumed it to be a gunshot and panicked. But no, most of the students didn't even flinch for a second. It's too normal now. But it's not because we wouldn't be afraid of something like that, it's because the chemistry class has that dry ice lab every year.

Actually, I don't think it was the dry ice because we already had that lab last semester. Point is, when I heard the noise, I secretly wished it was something to panic about. That everyone would freak and it would be Cloverfield or something equally exciting and apocalyptic. It would be an interesting change, it would somehow make me feel alive. This perverse attraction to conflict is probably due to my needy personality unable to stay in the same place for a long time, or at least a desire to perpetually have something to look forward to.

So why do I say all of this? Because I'm procrastinating for my Theater IA.